Key Takeaways
- Naming a guardian in your will tells the court who you want to raise your children if both parents die; without it, a judge decides.
- Focus on values, parenting style, stability, relationship with your kids and willingness, not just who’s “next in line.”
- Consider naming one person to raise the children and another to manage their money.
- Always name an alternate, and ask your choices before you name them.
- Revisit your choice every few years; circumstances change for everyone.
Why choosing a guardian matters
If both parents die or can’t care for their children, a court appoints a guardian. Judges give strong weight to the person parents nominated in a will. Without a nomination, relatives may disagree, and the decision falls to someone who has never met your children.
Questions to help you decide
- Values: Do they share your beliefs about education, religion, discipline and how kids should be raised?
- Relationship: Do your children know and trust them?
- Stability: Do they have a stable home, health and enough time?
- Age and energy: Will they be able to raise a child through the teenage years?
- Location: Would your children have to move schools or leave friends and family?
- Family: How would your kids fit with their household, including any children of their own?
- Willingness: Have they agreed? Never surprise someone with this responsibility.
Money matters less than you might think: your life insurance and estate can provide the funds. What matters is who will love and raise your children well.
Comparing common choices
| Choice | Pros | Things to consider |
|---|---|---|
| Grandparents | Already close; often share your values | Age, health and energy for the long haul |
| Siblings | Familiar family; often similar values | Their own children, home size and finances |
| Close friends | Shared values and parenting style | Relationship with your extended family |
| Godparents | Chosen with this role in mind | Whether the role has been discussed seriously |
| A married couple | Two caregivers | What happens if the couple separates; consider naming one of them |
Separate the caregiver from the money
You can name a guardian to raise your children and a trustee (or custodian) to manage the money you leave them. This lets you choose the most loving caregiver without requiring them to be a financial expert, and adds a check. See estate planning for young families.
How to make it official
- Talk with your co-parent and agree on a choice.
- Ask the person and an alternate.
- Name them in your will. Both parents should name the same guardian in their own wills.
- Write a letter to the guardian about your children’s routines, health, schooling and your hopes for them.
- Plan for shorter absences too with a temporary guardianship authorization.
- Review every few years.
Frequently asked questions
Yes. Courts generally honor a parent’s nomination even if the guardian lives elsewhere, though your children would likely move.
Yes, but consider what happens if they divorce or one of them dies. Many parents name one person, or say which spouse should serve if the couple separates.
If one parent dies, the surviving parent usually keeps custody. Guardian nominations matter most if both parents die. Courts will weigh both parents’ wishes and the child’s best interests.
Some parents include a statement explaining why a particular person shouldn’t serve. Courts may consider it, but the child’s best interests always come first.
In many states, courts consider the wishes of older children, and some give teens a formal voice in who becomes their guardian.
Keep reading
- Legal Documents Every Parent of a Minor Child NeedsThe legal forms that protect your kids if you're traveling, unreachable or unable to care for them: consent forms, temporary guardianship, wills and more.
- Child Travel Consent Form: When Your Child Needs OneWhen a child travels with one parent, grandparents or a group, a travel consent form shows permission. Learn when it's needed, what to include and whether to notarize.
- Temporary Guardianship Form: How to Leave Your Child in Someone’s CareA temporary guardianship form lets a trusted adult care for your child while you're away. Learn how it works, how long it lasts, and how it differs from custody.
- Medical Consent Form for a Minor: For Grandparents, Sitters and CaregiversA medical consent form lets grandparents, babysitters and other caregivers approve treatment for your child when you can't be reached. Here's what to include.
- Estate Planning for Young Families and New ParentsNew parents need more than a crib. Learn how to name a guardian, protect what you leave your kids, and plan for your own emergencies in five simple steps.
- Guardianship vs. Custody: What’s the Difference?Custody is usually between parents; guardianship gives a non-parent authority over a child. Compare how each works, how long it lasts and how it's set up.
If something happens, who can step in for your kids?
Name the people who can get medical updates, consent to care and look after your children if you can’t, with HIPAA, medical authorization and temporary guardianship forms. The No Brainer Box adds powers of attorney, a living will and travel consent.
- Answer a few simple questions online
- Download your completed, ready-to-sign forms
- Sign them and keep copies in your account
This guide is general educational information written by the No Brainer Forms Team. It is not legal advice, and No Brainer Forms is not a law firm. Laws and signing requirements vary by state; for advice about your situation, talk to a licensed attorney in your state.