Key Takeaways
- If you can’t make your own medical decisions and haven’t named anyone, state law decides who can; in many states, an unmarried partner is low on the list or not on it at all.
- A health care power of attorney lets you name your partner as the person who decides.
- A HIPAA release lets doctors share your medical information with your partner.
- A living will tells your partner and doctors what you’d want, so your partner isn’t left guessing.
- Hospitals that take Medicare or Medicaid must let you choose your visitors, but visiting rights aren’t decision-making rights.
Who decides if you can’t?
When a patient can’t make or communicate medical decisions and hasn’t named a decision-maker, doctors turn to state “surrogate consent” or “default surrogate” laws. These laws rank who can decide, typically:
- A court-appointed guardian
- A spouse
- Adult children
- Parents
- Adult siblings
- Other relatives, and in some states, a close friend or domestic partner
The order varies by state, and some states don’t include unmarried partners at all. That means your parents or siblings could be making decisions you’d want your partner to make, or disagreeing with your partner at the bedside.
The fix: two documents
Health care power of attorney
A health care power of attorney (also called a health care proxy, medical power of attorney or advance directive appointing an agent) lets you name your partner as your agent. Once doctors determine you can’t decide for yourself, your agent’s authority generally comes before the default surrogate list. Name an alternate too, in case your partner can’t be reached.
HIPAA release
A HIPAA release lets providers share your health information with your partner, even while you’re still able to make your own decisions. See HIPAA release vs. health care power of attorney for how the two work together.
With and without the documents
| Situation | No documents | HIPAA release only | Health care POA plus HIPAA release |
|---|---|---|---|
| Get updates from doctors | Only at the provider’s discretion | Yes | Yes |
| Visit you in the hospital | Yes, if you can designate visitors | Yes | Yes |
| Consent to surgery if you can’t | Depends on state law; often no | No | Yes |
| Decide about life support | Depends on state law; often no | No | Yes, guided by your living will |
| Override relatives who disagree | No | No | Yes, as your appointed agent |
Add a living will
A living will records your wishes about life-sustaining treatment, such as ventilators and feeding tubes, if you’re terminally ill or permanently unconscious. It gives your partner clear instructions and makes it harder for anyone to second-guess them.
Practical tips
- Sign both documents now. Emergencies don’t wait, and these are among the quickest documents to complete.
- Follow your state’s signing rules. Health care powers of attorney often require witnesses, a notary or both.
- Give copies to your doctor and keep them on your phone.
- Tell your family. Letting relatives know your partner is your agent reduces conflict later.
Frequently asked questions
Generally not, legally. Next of kin usually means a spouse or blood relatives. A health care power of attorney lets you choose your partner regardless.
Usually yes, because hospitals that participate in Medicare and Medicaid must allow patients to choose their visitors, including partners. Making decisions is a separate right that requires a health care power of attorney.
If you’ve named your partner as your health care agent, your partner has the legal authority to decide, guided by your wishes. Without that document, your family may have priority under state law.
Not necessarily. Many people complete these forms themselves. The key is following your state’s signing requirements, such as witnesses or a notary.
In some states it does, but the rules vary and may not apply if you travel or move. A health care power of attorney works more reliably everywhere.
Keep reading
- Estate Planning for Unmarried Couples: How to Protect Each OtherUnmarried partners have few automatic legal rights. Learn which documents let you make medical decisions, share information and inherit from each other.
- Cohabitation Agreement: What It Covers and Why Couples Sign OneA cohabitation agreement sets out how unmarried partners share property, expenses and debts, and what happens if they split up. Here's what to include.
- Domestic Partnership vs. Marriage: What’s the Difference?Domestic partnership and marriage give couples very different legal rights. Compare inheritance, taxes, benefits and medical decisions, and learn what an agreement adds.
- Primary vs. Contingent Beneficiary: How to Name Them RightA primary beneficiary inherits first; a contingent beneficiary inherits if the primary can't. Learn how they work, common mistakes, and how beneficiaries interact with your will.
Make sure your partner can be there for you
Give each other access to medical information and put your partnership in writing with HIPAA, medical authorization and a domestic partnership agreement. The No Brainer Box adds powers of attorney and a living will.
- Answer a few simple questions online
- Download your completed, ready-to-sign forms
- Sign them and keep copies in your account
This guide is general educational information written by the No Brainer Forms Team. It is not legal advice, and No Brainer Forms is not a law firm. Laws and signing requirements vary by state; for advice about your situation, talk to a licensed attorney in your state.